so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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