if you like me you must not know who I am
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
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