I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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