I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
