She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
