winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
