My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
