I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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