i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
