Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
