:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
