Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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