she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
