there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
