I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
