he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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