i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
