i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize