How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
