So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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