yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
