it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
