I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
