I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
