The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize