okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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