i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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