Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
