I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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