Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
