u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
