if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
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