I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
