i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
