we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
