I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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