So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
