He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
My vagina just recognized that song.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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