i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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