you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
