Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize