We're like a lot better than the average bears
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize