Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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