he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
