i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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