so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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