She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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