Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
