You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
