i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
