she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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