Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
