I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
They have beer where we have blood.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
