dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
