I think im going to throw up on grandma
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
