i think my mom watched the whole time
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
