We won't sleep together?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
