Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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