Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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