i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
In America we eat man semen.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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