The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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