You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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