Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
