just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
