Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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