i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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